Sometimes I wonder if columnists actually write their columns or if they have some sort of script that responds to news items with certain keywords with a pre-ordained response.
For example, this column leads me to the conclusion that Leonard Pitts has a script set up so that if a story features teenage pregnancy, it triggers a column blaming the Bush Administrations’ abstinence-only sex education policies.
In it, Pitts examines the incident in Gloucester, Massachusetts, and lays blame at the feet of President Bush.
Now, for us simple folk, this would seem strange. The story in Gloucester is about girls taking a vow and intentionally becoming pregnant. The problem was not lack of knowledge or access to contraceptives, but that they sought out to become pregnant.
So how do we get there? With the mother (no pun intended) of “comes at a time” sentences:
The Gloucester story unfolds in the context of troubling recent news about teen sexuality.
Indeed, if only this story unfolded in the context of encouraging recent news about teen sexuality. You know, like, I don’t know, there must have been a time somewhere. I think it was about the same time that a study of public high school students showed that a surprisingly high number of them could do things like recite the Bill of Rights or name the thirteen original colonies.
I’m not sure that abstinence education in public schools is a great idea. But I’m also quite sure that the Gloucester incident wasn’t caused or even encouraged by abstinence-only education.
I guess I should be gratified that Pitts restrained himself from drawing a line from Bush’s policies to Josef Fritzl, who kept his daughter in his basement and raped and impregnated her. If only she knew about condoms…
